Here Comes President Musk and His Incel Minions

Elon Musk, the richest racist on Earth, has enlisted teenage minions to do the bidding of the broligarchy and rob America with the blessing of the world's most powerful cuck, Donald Trump.

Sometimes a picture speaks 290 million words. Time Magazine put the world’s richest man, Elon Musk, on the cover and accurately portrayed him as the new, unelected President of the United States. If I could add an edit, I’d include Donald Trump sitting on his lap as his old, withered, drooling poodle.

Looking tired and dejected, Trump was asked how he felt about the magazine cover and all he could muster was the following: “Is Time Magazine still in business? I didn’t even know that.” Hit dogs generally holler but when you’re a 78-year-old convicted criminal who ran for office to avoid jail time you just sit there and take your lumps.

So far, Musk has bullied Republicans into almost shutting down the government and torpedoing a bipartisan spending deal. He has also referred to those MAGA followers who don’t support H-1B visas as “contemptible fools.” Both times Donald Trump nodded along. In the past two weeks, his Department of Government Efficiency, which is a nebulous group without accountability, oversight, or security clearance, has been operating with impunity and castrating the U.S. government.

On Thursday night, nearly 10,000 employees of USAID were informed that they were about to be fired, essentially gutting an agency vital to saving the lives of vulnerable communities around the world. USAID also purchases about $2 billion of commodities from American farmers, many of whom voted for Trump to be “great again,” so good luck to them and their cratering fortunes. DOGE “employees” have also gained access to the Treasury Department’s financial data, including the Social Security numbers, of millions of American taxpayers, and payment systems.

Thanks to a great, investigative piece from Wired, we now know the identities of these DOGE minions who all happen to be mini Musks aged 19-25. Yup, most of them aren’t even able to rent a car but now they can turn off the spigot to programs such as Medicaid, Meals on Wheels, and Head Start. One of them goes by the online handle “Big Balls,” and he has access to America’s sensitive federal data. Edward Coristine, aged 19, is a high school graduate who worked at a startup that hired convicted hackers and operated a Russian website, Tesla.Sexy. According to our new Transportation Secretary, Real World-alum Sean Duffy, he has the necessary experience to “help upgrade our aviation system,” the same one that failed spectacularly and led to a devastating collision of nearly 70 people because Trump and Musk decided to fire the FAA chief, head of TSA, and put a hiring freeze on airline traffic controllers. It bears mentioning Duffy, along with Sec. of Defense Pete Hegseth, President Musk, and Poodle Trump, have all championed “merit” and hiring the “best and brightest in every position” as an excuse to gut all diversity initiatives.

Do you feel safer, America?

Well, you can take comfort in knowing that at least DOGE has some standards. One of the six members has allegedly resigned after his obscenely racist social media posts were uncovered. 25-year-old Marko Elez, the only DOGE minion old enough to rent a car, has apparently stepped down after it was revealed he posted that he’s in favor of a “eugenics immigration policy,” against the Civil Rights Act and that you couldn’t pay him enough to marry outside his ethnicity. He also wants to “normalize Indian hate,” which probably explains why Vivek Ramaswamy, a rich Indian American who was a willing Reek for Trump, was kicked out of DOGE. (Was it worth it, Vivek?)

Earlier today, Musk asked millions of his fellow racists on X, which has become a platform for white supremacists and hateful conspiracy theories ever since the South African immigrant purchased it last year, whether he should bring back Elez. So far, 78% of respondents to his poll have voted, “Yes.” One of Musk’s minions who spoke up in favor of Elez was J.D. Vance, who is currently cosplaying as the Vice President. He said he’s in favor of bringing him back even though he disagrees with some of Elez’s posts. Was it the one that advocated for normalizing Indian hate? I wonder what Vance’s Indian American wife, Usha, or his Indian American kids think about their dad throwing them under the bus to kiss up to racists and hatemongers? What does Usha think about her man being a willing cuck to a racist South African who does Nazi salutes?

It is impossible to shame shameless people. MAGA has so thoroughly debased itself that the cult is willing to jettison any semblance of pride, decency, self-worth, and integrity to have their lips permanently attached to the teats of Musk and Trump. The entire MAGA movement reveals a perverse, hateful mindset of insecure, enraged losers who still can’t get over the fact that they were rejected by pretty girls during high school. Despite having all the power and wealth in the world, they still can’t buy confidence, coolness, or character.

Look at what they make you give, MAGA? And for what? Musk and his billionaire broligarchy friends, which include Peter Thiel, David Sacks, and Marc Andreessen, are going rob Trump voters blind. It’s fitting that a kid who gave himself the name “Big Balls” is one of the individuals responsible for gutting America. It’s so purely American. It’s so vulgar, ridiculous, dumb, and self-destructive. Then again, that’s what you get when a plurality of Americans vote for Elon Musk as their President.

In today’s episode of Democracy-Ish, Danielle and I break down Musk’s Minion MAGA Takeover of America and how the rest of us can stand up and resist.