The Obamas Have Earned Their Petty

On Day 2 of the DNC, when they go low, Michelle and Barack Obama do a flying elbow on Donald Trump and MAGA from the top rope.

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In 2016, Michelle Obama famously said, “When they go low, we go high.” Well, 8 years and a violent insurrection later, she has changed her tune. In 2024, when they go low, the Obamas go to the top rope and hit Donald Trump and MAGA with a flying elbow.

On Day 2 of the Democratic National Convention, we were witness to the roll call, an annual pageantry in which each state pledges their delegates and “officially” nominates the Presidential ticket. Personally, I love watching this every year because it reflects the beautiful diversity of this vast country. Democrats decided to actually give it a soundtrack with a live DJ who dropped a fantastic playlist, highlighting specific songs for each state. Georgia brought out Lil’ Jon who sang, “From the windows to the Walz.” Georgia, take a bow and all the flowers.

Speaking of performances, the speeches for the most part were perfunctory political cheerleading. Most lacked fire and emotion, but then again do we really expect that much from Senator Schumer? Things were ho-hum until Doug Emhoff got on stage and gained major husband equity with his earnest, sweet, and tender love letter to his wife Kamala Harris. His pride in her accomplishments and his affection for her was evident throughout his remarks and stood in direct contrast to the toxic masculinity and misanthropy promoted by Donald whose own wife Melania can barely stand to be in his presence.

However, the superstar couple of this particular evening was the Obamas. Michelle Obama once again showed why she is one of the most compelling and powerful orators of our time. She delivered a rapturous and inspiring speech that asked Americans to “do something” to help this country. In addition to mobilizing the base, she also uplifted Kamala Harris and referred to her as “my sister.” But this DNC’s Michelle Obama also came ready to rumble and reflected the Democrats’ newfound joyful warrior spirit. She repeteadly dropped quotatious bombs on Donald Trump.

One of the best, if not the best, lines of the night was when she said, “…most of us will never be afforded the grace of failing forward. We will never benefit from the affirmative action of generational wealth.” That line broke at least 12 ketchup bottles at Mar-a-Lago. Speaking of Donald, she also asked, “Who’s going to tell him the job he is seeking might be one of those Black jobs?” That one probably killed 8 ketchup bottles. Michelle Obama is like The Undertaker for the Democrats. She comes out for special appearances, reminds everyone of her awesomeness, brings the house down, and then peaces out to go live her best life.

Barack Obama had the unenviable task of following his spouse, who delivered one of the most effective convention speeches in modern history. He didn’t disappoint, although I wish he would have worn a tan suit as the ultimate trolling move. Sure, his black hair has now gone gray, but he still has oratorical skills which he used to praise Joe Biden, uplift Kamala, and remind Americans to believe in hope but work and vote for a better future. But, the greatest moment in his speech wasn’t a quotable line but rather an exquisite and petty dick joke he unsubtly made with his hands to mock Trump’s obsession with crowd “sizes”

I preemptively roll my eyes at the civility police clutching their white pearls on cable news shows tomorrow as the corporate punditocracy wags their fingers and chides the Obamas for their “mean-spirited” comments against Trump, a cruel vulgarian who has spent 9 years mocking the press as “the enemy of the people” and “fake news.”

I’m glad the Obamas finally let loose. The first Black family that ascended to the White House had to bite their tongue for nearly 16 years as the GOP and Donald Trump unleashed racist and Islamophobic dog whistles against them. Trump promoted the hateful “birther” conspiracy that was echoed by right-wing media and forced Barack Obama to produce his birth certificate as proof that he was an American citizen. Just sit with that moment and imagine how humiliating that must have been for the first Black president of this country. They also denigrated his father’s Muslim heritage. They mocked Michelle Obama’s arms. The New York Post published a cartoon portraying Barack Obama as a chimp shot dead by the police. In 2024, Trump and Republicans, like Nancy Mace, are doing a reboot by mocking Kamala’s name and questioning if she’s truly black. The Obamas have her back and decided to spend their earned equity by belittling Donald on her behalf. The best way to undermine, weaken, and expose a bully’s cowardice is to mock and humiliate him, especially with an excellent dick joke.

I’m here for the petty, and I’ll be there for Kamala Harris to stick the landing on Thursday.