I, for one, welcome my new Muslim Caliph, Zohran Mamdani, and look forward to recruiting converts to the Islamic Republic of New York City, which was established on June 24, 2025.
Sharia is indeed coming to the most populous city in the United States of America, with halal carts replacing hot dogs and chai stands popping up at every corner in the suburbs. There will even be kosher options for the millions of Jews who live in NYC, as it is an acceptable alternative under Islamic law. The global intifada will be both televised and streamed as bidets will be made available in every public restroom, and delicious spices will be added to bland chicken.
Who would have thought a 33-year-old winning a NYC mayoral primary could have such a profound, revolutionary effect on the country? Well, this is the fictional narrative spun by the Democratic establishment, right-wing media, Wall St. billionaires, and unhinged pro-Israel bigots. In that case, this is what America will look like if Mamdani becomes the next mayor of NYC.
All of the “classics” from the War on Terror have been resurrected to demonize Mamdani, including calling him an anti-semite for standing up for Palestinians and equating him with terrorists simply due to his Muslim identity. You’d assume it was simply coming from the usual culprits, such as Republican racist Rep. Andy Ogles, who still hasn’t explained what he did with the $25K he raised to pay child burial services, or actress Debra Messing, who’s gone full Islamophobe in the past year.
But the haters are bipartisan and diverse, with NYC Senator Kristen Gillibrand, a Democrat, joining the fray. Other Democratic leaders, such as Rep. Jeffries, Sen. Schumer, and Governor Hochul, have yet to officially endorse Mamdani even after his win. Meanwhile, cartoonishly evil billionaire Bill Ackman tweeted his supervillain plot earlier today to raise hundreds of millions to take out Mamdani during the mayoral race.
None of these individuals who represent the establishment have spent a tenth of their time, energy, or money trying to “86” the corrupt criminal in the White House who is tanking the US economy, kidnapping and deporting people without due process, and terrorizing innocent communities through ICE. It’s Mamdani, a Democratic Socialist who wants to help the people instead of the elites, who has emerged as their number one enemy. They are trying, and so far failing, to play the old “divide and conquer” technique, but New Yorkers, such as NYC comptroller Brad Lander, a Jewish American candidate for mayor, aren’t having any of it. They see right through the racist bullshit.
Muslim and South Asian Americans are also wide awake and see the perverse weaponization of our religions and communities to demonize Mamdani. However, this is no longer 2002. This is 2025, and the majority, at least in NYC, has evolved and grown up.
In this midnight musing, I asked writer Qasim Rashid, editor of the essential Let’s Address This Substack, to join me and share how he, as a proud Muslim son of immigrants, feels watching this disgusting spectacle unfold.
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