If Trump can follow the Ten Commandments, then I'll be open to the GOP imposing them on the rest of us.

In light of the new Louisiana law requiring public schools to display the Ten Commandments, I break down if the GOP's leader fulfills any of them.

The great state of Louisiana is bringing back the Ten Commandments. 

Unfortunately, I’m not talking about a musical revival of Cecil B. DeMille’s hammy classic starring Edward G. Robinson as an Egyptian. Nope, we’re talking about the actual Ten Commandments allegedly handed down to Moses by God.

Every public school classroom in the state will now be forced to display the Biblical directives thanks to legislation signed by Republican Louisiana Governor Jeff Landry, who said, “If you want to respect the rule of law, you’ve got to start from the original lawgiver, which was Moses.”  We can take a moment to chuckle at this statement considering the GOP bows down to the orange calf known as Donald Trump, a criminal convict who was also held liable for rape, fraud, and defamation.

Alas, I digress. 

You don’t have to be a recovering attorney like me to know that we don’t live in a Christian theocracy. We live in the United States where the First Amendment gives me the freedom to be a Muslim and fast during Ramadan, while an atheist has the freedom to mock my beliefs as he washes down a ham sandwich with a can of beer. (There is still time to repent, heathen! I kid, I kid.)

You also don’t need to be a legal scholar to know we have something called the Establishment Clause and the concept of separation of church and state that ensures the perverse, authoritarian vision of an extremist minority cannot replace the Constitution to impose its fanatical, theocratic will on the majority. (Well, for now at least. The compromised Supreme Court might say otherwise.) Unsurprisingly, the ACLU quickly pounced and announced they were suing Louisana for its latest Christian flex. 

You also don’t have to be an avid consumer of politics to sniff out the shameless hypocrisy of such a stunt. Right-wing media and politicians whine constantly that liberals are shoving “DEI” and “wokeness” down their throats. Their response is to impose their religious extremism on everyone else. Oh, and let’s be clear that when they reply that they’re only exercising their religious freedoms, they aren’t talking about my religious freedom, but instead focusing solely on their white Christian nationalism. I’m pretty sure they won’t allow the Church of Satan or the Church of Scientology to proselytize in public school classrooms or playgrounds any time soon. 

However, I’m in a generous mood. I’ll avoid all of this and let the GOP publicly display their Ten Commandments, but on one condition: they have to follow them. That’s it. That’s all I ask. Since I’m so magnanimous today, I won’t even ask all of them to follow the holy directives - just Donald Trump, their fearless leader.

I’m feeling super tolerant, open-minded, and giving today. I don’t even need Trump to follow all Ten Commandments. Let him follow a majority of them.

OK, half.

Fine, fine, just three.

Three of the commandments.

Three. That’s it. If Trump, the de facto leader of the GOP, can follow three of the Ten Commandments, I’ll let Republicans impose their holy “rule of law” on the rest of us. 

Let’s go backward from 10 to 1, shall we?

10. “Thou shalt not covet.” (Exodus 20:17) Trump has spent his entire life mired in jealousy and comparing himself to other people, namely President Obama. He covets his popularity, his inauguration crowd, and the respect he gets from world leaders. “It eats him alive inside.” Alas, he covets a lot. Strike one.

9. “Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.” (Exodus 20:16) Trump made at least 30 false statements during a recent 90-minute speech in Wisconsin. It’s safe to say he will bear false witness against anyone’s neighbor - and their mother - at any time to get ahead. 

8. “Thou shalt not steal.” (Exodus 20:15) Trump was held liable for committing fraud in New York, and he owes nearly half a billion dollars. He also failed to steal a free and fair election from President Biden. 

7. “Thou shalt not commit adultery.” (Exodus 20:14) Stormy Daniels and Karen McDougal would like a word. 

6. “Thou shalt not kill.” (Exodus 20:13) Trump joked about shooting a person and not losing any voters. Although he hasn’t killed anyone, he sure loves killers. He has befriended dictator Kim Jong Un, praised MBS of Saudi Arabia, and pardoned Navy Seal Eddie Gallagher who killed a 17-year-old prisoner and posed with his corpse. But, since Trump hasn’t killed anyone yet…he has fulfilled this commandment for now.*** 

***Update: Community member Philip Schaffner writes, “What about the (by some estimates over 400,000 excess) deaths due to his politicization and mismanagement of COVID-19?” I think he makes a very good point. Thoughts?

5. “Honor thy father and thy mother.” (Exodus 20:12) According to Mary Trump, Donald “dismissed and derided” his father as he succumbed to Alzheimer’s in the 1990s. Shocking? Not shocking. 

4. “Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy.” (Exodus 20:8–10) Trump spends the weekends golfing at Mar-a-Lago or publishing gibberish on Truth Social. Sabbath, you have been desecrated!

3. “Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain.” (Exodus 20:7) In 2019, Trump joked about “goddamn windmills.” Lord, sorry, your name was taken in vain.

2. “Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image.” (Exodus 20:4) Trump never dissuades his cult from making literal statues. Also, let’s not forget his shameless merchandising where he never misses an opportunity to stamp his name on everything, including gaudy shoes, cheap steak, and fraudulent universities. Graven images were made unto thee!

1. “Thou shalt have no other gods before me.” (Exodus 20:3). If you’re a good Christian, you’re supposed to put nothing and nobody else before God. Trump has created, nurtured, and unleashed a cult around his personality. GOP voters now believe him more than their own family, right-wing media, and religious leaders. Trump’s ego trumps everything, including God. 

So, if you’ve been keeping track, Trump has only fulfilled one of the Ten Commandments. Sorry, MAGA and white Christian nationalists, I guess the Constitution wins this time around.